Discovering the fight to do what you love

If we are being totally honest, this week has been really interesting. If you didn’t notice, this post is going up in Thursday. I could not bring myself to write the last few days. I normally have a lost done Tuesday night but I have not had even one ounce of energy available to write.

To be fair, it probably was just laziness. I spent the last few days just slumped on my chair or laying in bed watching tv. I didn’t walk or really take care of myself and as a result I’ve felt really shitty the last few days.

Since I’ve been binge watching everything, I’ve been really into watching Gala Darling on YouTube and I’ve been binging her wonderland series. I completely recommend it if you want some spiritual inspiration. And in almost every episode she talks about the importance of feeling good.

Normally some people would chalk it up to self care and call it a day. I mean that’s what I would have done. But most people, including myself, have used self care as a way to prevent burn out at the very last inch of sanity that I have left. And feeling good is not that.

So this time I decided to check in with myself and grade my life. It’s like the level ten life post I wrote but I realized I still really didn’t get it. But I was committed to school. So why not give myself grades? That I know how to improve.

I realized that my day is spent typically slumped in front of a screen. And it’s usually because I don’t really feel productive to begin with. And where does my day start? Early between 5-6 am to take my puppy out to the bathroom. And promptly after caring for him, I get back into bed and become a potato for as long as I possible can.

Unless you like this lifestyle, this is definitely not what I imagined for myself. I am used to being productive and making sure that I am on top of all my work and working on long term projects. Basically I actually function like a person that has her shit together naturally. It’s a blessing a curse.

So after I looked at all the parts of my life, I realized that my day starts in the morning. I mean obviously right? But I mean that if I don’t start doing things in the morning, the rest of my day I feel less productive.

Tomorrow marks a new day with a solid morning routine to get my day started right and I’m really looking forward to it. It almost feels as if I am starting over with the way I want my life to be. And it feels good.

I always tend to write about being in a slump or how to deal with these feelings, but I think I got it right for me this time. Self care and feeling good are really important for your well being so see what works for you. And it bleeds into finding the time to do the things you love.

If you don’t set yourself up for success throughout the day there is a little chance of being able to feel like you have enough energy to tackle everything that you have on your list. It’s not an easy fight to fund time to do what you love. But it is worthwhile.

-Joss

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