A Honest Look Into My Life

Merry Christmas everyone! I’m so glad to be back writing consistently for not only you, but for me as well. I wanted to make time on today’s post to address what has happened in the last two weeks. My life has been a whirlwind of emotions and events. So before I start, I’d like to say that you for being so patient with me.

This holiday season has been stressful. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was ending my Fall quarter in school which meant essays and finals were on my mind. I was so stressed that I had taken the initiative to plan out all my assignments and what I would work on daily for the last three weeks.

On top of that, my paternal grandmother was undergoing a brain surgery to remove brain tumors. This was going to take place during Thanksgiving week and I was completely in the dark about what was going on. She entered the hospital a day early and before I knew it, in the blur of assignments and classes, she had her surgeries.

Thankfully, she’s recovering and back home. She can’t be alone for now, just to make sure she doesn’t fall. So my family has been running in circles to make sure that my grandma is okay. And because she is my grandmother, I have been trying to help out as much as I can while still taking care of school.

And in the wake of all of it, a lot of my routines have fallen to the wayside. Not only was I not posting here, but I was having a hard time finding my normal quiet time journal or meditate. Or even get a moment to wrap my head around everything that has happened. But as of right now, I’m happy to say that my life has slowed down.

Yet, I don’t want this post to be about justifying my absence because the only person that can justify my actions is me. But this post is reminder to not only myself but all of you as well, that we should not have to justify what we do or say.

It’s something that we do all the time. When we say “no”, it’s typically followed by a reason why. But “no” is a sentence in itself. A friend of mine told me the other day that I should not feel bad about missing weeks of church. And this was because of the fact that I was taking the time I needed in order to function during the week. And he was and still is right.

Me not going to church, classes, or even posting was a necessary part of my dealing and healing with all of the things that were going on in my life. And it’s okay. Those actions do not have to be justified.

So please remember that as you tackle this holiday season. Saying “no” is a form of self care that only you can decide if it’s appropriate.

-Joss

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