How many times have you caught yourself typing or saying the exact opposite of what you feel? I caught myself doing this recently and I realized that I was the reason I was frustrated in situations.
A little over a week ago, I asked my dad if he would take me to the airport in Los Angeles. My mom had already agreed to pick me up and I just figured that I would ask my dad so my mom wasn’t driving me multiple times. But when I did ask, I was met with other options.
He never directly said no to driving me, but he did offer to pay for an Uber or the Metro and other forms of transportation. Normally I would have said yes, I love taking public transportation and it’s no big deal to me. But I was hurt; I really wanted my dad to take me (anyone really) because I wanted to have someone to talk to. Driving would have been so laborious alone and parking would be expensive.
Instead of being honest, both him and me were dancing around the subject. He avoided telling me why he couldn’t take me along with a no. And I could not tell him why I wanted him to take me and how I was feeling. So a made myself cry. Then I promised myself that I would say and write what I mean.
Because more often than not, I communicate in vague phrases and it’s something we all do. From communicating non-verbally to saying everything is “fine”, we allow our thoughts and feelings to be bottled up. When did it get so wrong and weird to tell people how we are feeling? Straight up and without hesitation of being judged?
Challenging myself to be honest when I communicate has been hard. And it’s costed me potential dates with guys (more on that next week) and relationships with people. But when we honor what’s within us, we feel better about or decisions and we don’t give ourselves a reason to feel upset about not being honest. Besides, honesty is the best policy.