Self Love and Girl Love

Earlier this month I had the awesome opportunity to go the the Los Angeles Teen Vogue meet up and learn from a variety of people. While I initially went to go see Lilly Singh, a.k.a iiSuperwomanii, I ended up making great connections and learning a little.

Part of this event, was a “2-minute” workshop and everyone should have gotten a chance to speak with at least one of the mentors there. Naturally I went to speak with Lilly because of her Girl Love cause, which she spoke about that night.

For those of you who don’t know what Girl Love is, let me just say that it’s not just about girls. But it’s actually about ending girl on girl hate. Some of you might be thinking that this is not you or that you have not bee around or seen anything like that. But you’re probably wrong. All the micro-agressions, petty comments, and little things that you do to other girls or girls do to you (if you’re a girl) are part of the cycle of girl on girl hate.

So what does this have to do with self-love? Well let me take you back to the conversation I had with Lilly. I asked her if she thinks that self love and girl love go hand in hand. And she said yes.

A lot of the times, we immediately make snap judgements or do or say things about someone because of something within us. Whether it be jealousy or a reflection of something that we don’t like about ourselves, we can be quick to make judgements.

I can’t tell you how easy it is for me, at least, to jump really quick to conclusions about a person. It doesn’t help that this behavior is accepted in a variety of situations. Sometimes it’s just easier to judge someone else and not look at what’s bothering you. But it’s not helpful or healthy.

Holding onto all of those negative things about yourself or the things that you wish you were, can create a lot of inner turmoil. It’s not fair to others to reflect what you wish you had onto them. Working out your own personal issues allows you to be more open to people. And it means you might make the world a better place.

Being mad or frustrated with yourself isn’t someone else fault. And being mean to others doesn’t make the issue go away. It just makes someone else just a miserable as you. But instead of the pain coming from within, their pain is coming from within.

So next time you do or say something to another female, ask yourself where that’s coming from. Journal about it, talk to someone, or just really think it through. Because a lot of the pain we put in the world comes from within. So ladies (and men), let’s end the cycle.

-Joss

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