Shedding the Shame: Week 2 Reflection

Does any one else feel like this week just dragged on? While I was at work this week, I was struggling to get it together and make things happen. I did get my work responsibilities done, but I found it really hard to get things off of my list for personal tasks.

I would find spurts of interest and think of things to do. But then I would get off track and start scrolling through social media. And then when I would get home, I would feel totally drained from my day. My first reaction was to figure out where the resistance was coming from. Which was a struggle in itself.

Tons of things, that I know cause some of my frustration, came to mind. I don’t like not being able to dictate what goes on in my space, which is a nice way of saying that I want to do certain things for my personal self care that others in the house won’t like. I also don’t like sitting at work because I feel like I am wasting a day, even if I am productive.

Which got me thinking about my future. And on Thursday morning, I decided that I would make sure that in my future I would not have to work an office job. And that I would live on my own for a while. Oddly enough, that’s exactly what I needed.

Subconsciously I had been thinking about the way that my life will be in the future. And it made me realize the things that I want out of life. While the life that I want is the freedom to create and do what ever it is that I want. Obviously it isn’t going to be easy. But in the long run I know it is going to be worth it.

In terms of my motivation, I still haven’t got that back. But I’m taking small steps to recharge. Here are a few things I am doing within the next few days or things I have done.

  1. Why Statements

I was scrolling along Pinterest when I found an article about “Why Statements” and motivation. Ultimately, it’s about finding the why behind all of the things you are doing. For me, my why (in regards to blogging and writing) is “so that one day I don’t have to work in an office to make a living”. And that’s what I intend to do.

2. Personal Retreats

Right now, I am looking around at different places that I have never been to and that I want to go to. For this next Monday, I am going to be going to a botanical garden and museums that are about an hour away from my home. I’ve realized that since I don’t have the resources (time or money) to take a serious vacation, a mini vacation would be best.

It always seems like we are out best selves when we go on vacation. But I’d like to make it more of a habit to visit new places every week just to spark some creativity and to spend time away from my normal environment. So I will be planning that out and I will share that experience with you guys next week.

3. Digital Detox

I honestly haven’t done this is a while, but I think this is a great thing to do just to get yourself away from everything else that is going on. This time around I am going to stay off of social media and only use my phone for texting, phone calls, music, and podcasts. Everything else is not going to be used. I am also going to try to stay away from technology when I can (tv, tablets, computers) and limit myself to putting my notes down on paper.

I’m really looking forward to this event that I am creating for myself and I hope that you guys get some time for yourselves as well. Make sure that you are listening to the way you react to the things in your life in order to create a better life for yourself in the future.


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