Reflection on Week 1

Hey guys!! I hope all of you have had an amazing week so far. This week flew by pretty fast too. So fast that I am so excited for it to be the weekend.

Anyway, this week has been a challenge you guys. I really mean that. Before I started this challenge, about 2/3 weeks ago, my back was hurting really bad. And over the course of some time, it went a way. But on Wednesday, it came back full force and I wasn’t able to move much. So I went to the doctor, who gave me some medicine and told me to take it easy.

Why was this day in particular a challenge? Well, I am so lucky to have great parents and my mom stayed home with me so that she could drive me to the doctor’s office. And with the start of the Shedding the Shame project, I meal prepped all of my food for the week according to the Crossfit Zone Diet. And I had been sticking with it pretty well. However when it came to lunch, my mom was concerned with the amount of food I was eating and gave me additional food to eat. Normally, I would be able to push the food away and insist that I was okay. But I could see the genuine concern that she had in her eyes and I ate the food.

Normally, I would feel terrible about myself for eating foods that I did not prepare. But I actually don’t feel as bad. I didn’t make terrible choices as all the food I did eat was not crazy (like 2 big macs or tons of fast food, basically a lot of processed foods). Throughout the day I was reminding myself to not judge the food I was eating. And instead of feeling guilty about the food, I had a better understanding that the food is supposed to fuel me.

Other than my back being my physical set back and eating foods I did not anticipate eating, this week has taught me a lot about acceptance and not judging.

I also took the time this past week to think about my biggest barrier to weight loss, which I stated was my laziness. Coincidentally, I did a meditation on letting go on Thursday morning. And the person leading the meditation, asked me (or listeners) to imagine the habit or thing you are trying to let go of. I thought of my laziness and imagined myself sitting on the couch, watching TV. And in that moment I realized that I got this specific habit from my parents as that is what they do every night after coming home from work. I was using my laziness as a security blanket and that prevented me from doing the things that I actually needed to take care of at night. And after following the meditation, I was a bit emotional. I know it’s not going to be easy to break that habit, but I think that it will be a smoother transition.

Guided meditations are the best, in my opinion, because they force you to take a look at the stuff in your life or mind at times. Even if you don’t want to touch on that subject, working through it can be a huge relief whether you know it or not. Even if you don’t have an emotional or physical reaction, a slight mental shift can do wonders for your goals in the long run.

-Joss

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