As a plus-size girl, body positivity is hard to achieve sometimes. But more and more women are getting involved in a movement that will help change the way that we see ourselves. This series is going to be about the different aspects of body positivity and managing your way through them. I’ve always been on the hunt for a voice on different plus size topics that I’ve struggled with and since I can’t seem to find someone, I decided to be that person. So just like the title indicates, I’m talking about fashion this week. Or better yet the feelings behind fashion and shopping.
Now if you’re anything like me, shopping can be a bit stressful. And most plus size girls find this to be true. Clothing options are limited as most stores only cater to the girls that fit between extra small and large. Finding a place that you like to shop at is either far away or expensive. Besides all of the outside factors that come with shopping, there’s also the internal struggle.
For me personally, I hated going shopping for myself. The idea of walking into a Torrid made me feel like I had a neon sign above my head that said, “I’m fat”. Man, writing that sounds so harsh, but it’s the truth. Anyways, shopping at any plus size store just made me feel like the “other”. Especially in a society that glorifies girls that are within a specific size range. And even though I talk a big game about being okay with my body image. I’m not.
So why am I talking about fashion specifically today? Well, this weekend I’m off to Vegas and I have no idea what to wear. Another part of me is also pretty concerned about my appearance because I still feel some type of way about my own body image. So I wanted to give you all some advice, which I still remind myself of constantly:
You are the only person that gets to decide what you look good in.
I’ve personally had to deal with family members trying to dictate what I wear while I was growing up. And I didn’t notice the effect that it would have on me until I was shopping by myself, for myself. I got so used to hearing the negative opinions that I started telling myself the same thing. And that’s a really hard cycle to break out of. It takes time, patience and a lot of love towards yourself to move on from that.
It took a long time for me to try a relaxed body con dress. Which I slayed, but that confidence came after years of hating the way I looked in clothes. I began to realize that I we getting more and more okay with wearing baggier clothes and always having to adjust something. That’s when I realized that I wanted to change the way I viewed my own body. While I do still have some baggy clothes (I can’t really afford to drop money on jeans), I have started to make a conscious effort to make sure I’m not wearing a sweater over everything that I wear.
In the case of the body con dress, I was so scared to try that dress on. I honestly thought the world might explode if I did. But I was pleasantly surprised at the way I felt in the dress. Like I ruled the world and that I looked amazing. This was such an improvement for me. It took years of telling myself that I really was okay with the way I looked, which was a complete lie at times, for me to feel okay with myself now.
So screw all the fashion rules that dictate your world. Dressing in the things that actually make you feel like you are the clothes that you should be wearing. And I will be keeping my advice in mind as I prepare for a fun weekend in Vegas. I’ll let you guys know how it goes next week.
Keep an eye out for the next part of the Body Positivity Series and let me know what you would like to see next.
See you next week!